How a Dad Affects His Children’s Relationships
A child’s primary relationship with their father can affect all of their relationships from birth to death. Studies show that if your child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to your child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity. Including some of the most important ones such as friends, family, and spouses. Those early patterns of interaction with your dad are the very patterns that will be projected forward into all relationships. Not only their intrinsic idea of who they are as they relate to others, but also the range of what a child considers acceptable and loving.
Girls will look for men who hold the patterns of their good old dad, for after all, that’s what they know best. Therefore, if father was kind, loving, and gentle, they will reach for those characteristics in men. Girls will look for, in others, what they have experienced and become familiar with in childhood. Because they’ve gotten used to those familial and historic behavioral patterns, they think that they can handle them in relationships.
Boys on the other hand, will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for their father’s approval in everything they do, and copy those behaviors that they recognize as both successful and familiar. Thus, if father is loving, kind, supportive, and protective, boys will want to be just that.
The Importance of a Dad
Human beings are social animals and we learn by modeling behavior. In fact, all primates learn how to survive and function successfully in the world through social imitation. Those early patterns of interaction are all children know, and it is those patterns that affect how they feel about themselves, and how they develop. Children are vulnerable to those early patterns and incorporate those behavioral qualities into their repertoire of social exchange.
It is impossible to over-estimate the importance of dad. For example, girls who have good relationships with their fathers tend to do better in math, and boys who have actively involved fathers tend to have better grades and perform better on academic tests. Well-bonded children develop a stable and sustained sense of self as well as who we are and who we will become, our fathers are central to that outcome.
Furthermore, children who are well-bonded and loved by involved fathers, tend to have less behavioral problems, and are somewhat inoculated against alcohol and drug usage. In fact, a relatively new structure that has emerged in our culture is the stay-at-home dad. Research indicates that fathers are as important as mothers in their respective roles as caregivers, protectors, financial supporters, and most importantly, models for social and emotional behavior.
My father is someone who I can look up to and count on for unconditional love and support everyday. He’s my rock and quite frankly the only thing that keeps my crazy family kinda sane. I love you Appa. Happy Birthday!
